This is a post that I've been meaning to write. I think some people are curious to know what it was like to have a micro preemie and a normal newborn. I guess I should explain how both my little ones came into this world first and I'll explain my feelings as I go.
Squirrel
My pregnancy with the squirrel was eventful from the beginning. It took us months to conceive and once I did I was in and out of the emergency room for bleeding.
5 weeks, 10 weeks, 13 weeks... Finally I stopped going because the bleeding was becoming normal.
One night around 24 weeks I was up about every hour with stomach pains. I went to work the next day and everything seemed ok. I had my husband take me to labor and delivery that night just to be on the safe side.
I remember looking at the ultrasound screen not really understanding what "
no fluid" meant. I remember feeling the blood rush into my ears making it impossible to hear them tell me exactly what it meant. The look on my husbands face is something I'll never forget.
They rushed me to a hospital that had a level 3 NICU. The highest level of care available for sick babies.
We were told that the best thing for her survival would be to keep me from going into labor. If she were born that night she'd have a 50% chance of surviving and even if she did live she'd have complications. I was given medicine to stop the contractions. They were also worried about infection. Since my water broke the baby has no barrier to outside infections. So they started me on IV antibiotics. They also gave me steriod injections to mature her lungs. Since I never actually felt a gush of water they were also concerned that she was having problems making amniotic fluid.
I was on bed rest for month. The first week or so was strict bedrest. No getting up. No peeing, no shower, no nothing.
Even though she had no fluid you could still see her practicing breating on the ultrasound. She still got hiccups and still moved around quite a bit. I tried to stay positive but there were times when I just cried. I didn't understand why it had to happen to my little girl. I missed my dogs and my home.
On August 16th I started contracting. It started as again stomach pains and progressed into pain every hour. The morning of August 17th they ran bloodwork. I had an infection.
I was started on pitocin and delivered a screaming baby girl weighing 1lb 14oz. She was 12 1/2 inches long. She was immediatly rushed to the NICU.
(One day old)
The NICU was hard. It was hard leaving her there everyday after we'd visit. It was hard trusting the nurses would take care of her. It was hard having set backs and not having her home.
Amazingly, she did really well. She struggled with reflux, jaundice, and feeding issues. She had normal preemie issues with reflux, aspiration, tube feeding, and regulating her temperature. She also developed NEC which is an infection of her intestines. She had 2 blood transfusions, rickets, and developed MRSA. That doesn't sound amazing does it? It is for a baby born at 28 weeks.
Writing this and looking at pictures makes my heart ache. I still don't know why my little girl had to go through all of that. Why she had to struggle for her life.
She spent 67 days in the NICU. She came home at 5lbs.
(Homecoming! 10-27-08)
We never had any problems after she left the NICU. She was followed by neonatalogists, developmental physchologists, nutritionists, opthamologists, and any other "gists" you can think of for her first 2 years of life. Every doctor always said the same thing. They couldn't believe she was doing so well.
She chunked up quickly sometimes gaining more than a pound a week!
She was on target for all of her development at her adjusted age. Meaning she sat up at 9 months old but adjusted age 6 months.
At this point I don't even think of her as a preemie anymore. Her time in the NICU feels like a bad dream.
She is happy, healthy...
And super smart...
Little Buddy
First of all squirrel gave him his name of little buddy. Came up with it all on her own. It's just what she calls him...
Now with little buddy everything was completely different from the beginning. He was an "
oops". I got pregnant with him while I was on birth control pills. Yep, it does happen.
Because of my history, I was immediatly referred to a high risk doctor. From 16-34 weeks I was given weekly injections (
by the husband!) to keep my uterus from contracting. They did an ultrasound every 2 weeks to check his growth and monitor my cervical length.
From about 20 weeks until he was born I was seen every week by a doctor. I still saw my regular doctor and the high risk doctor. You could say they monitored me closely!
Did I worry about him? Of course. In the beginning I worried about preterm labor. The husband was deployed and I didn't think I could handle another nicu baby. I called my doctor at every little twinge. After 34 weeks my worry shifted to having a stillborn baby. I worried he'd crush his cord. When he was born I worried about SIDS. I'm currently worried about him suffocating himself in his sleep. It's a constant motherly worry.
He was due october 7th and I went into labor october 9th. I started contracting around 8, got to the hospital around 10 (was 9cm dilated) and he was born at 2:15. He was 8lbs 8oz born on 10-10-10.
Did you notice I didn't have any birth pictures of the squirrel?
Her birth was pretty chaotic. There was my doctor and nurse plus the NICU team during her delivery. I pushed twice with her. We weren't sure what to expect so no pictures were taken. I did get to see her for a second when she came out and the husband did get to cut the umbillical cord. After that I saw her through an incubator. I didn't get to touch her at all.
Little buddy's was entirely different. It was just my doctor and a nurse. Plus a nurse for him when he was born. I pushed for 2 hours with him. When he came out they put him on my chest and I held him until they weighed him. Then he was returned to me. He never left my side. Only for his circumcision and a few hours so I could sleep.
The immediate feelings after both were born were also different. I hate to say this but after squirrel was born I felt relief. I could finally stop worrying about when she'd be born. Everything I had been worrying about on bedrest was over. She was alive and breathing. With little buddy it was satisfaction. I had successfully grown and delivered a baby.
I'm sorry this is so scattered... As always, I've been writing this post for a few days. Taking breaks and losing track of what I was saying. Hopefully, though, this will answer some of your questions.
If you have any questions or have a preemie and need support don't hesitate to email me! kristen@changeofpaceforme.
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